Dating shy quiet girls

In the little section where you’re asked, “How do you typically spend a Friday night? I say I’m usually at a yoga class, winding down after the week.” (you know the one—it’s where most people say, “Sometimes I like to go out, but then sometimes I like to stay in,” and you want to reply, “O RLLY? There’s a good chance that you’ll discover the subtle difference between the “just put yourself out there!In fact, you need to simultaneously work on managing the anxiety that so many shy men and women feel on a new date.Let me share a couple of techniques that will make you feel less anxious when you really want to sit back and enjoy your date. I’ll share a trick that I have used in my career which has helped tremendously.I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.

Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.This will take the pressure off of you and get the two of you talking.Wearing a shirt or hat with your college name, carrying an eclectic handbag, wearing an interesting watch or bracelet, or pulling out your cell phone with a custom/interesting case are all ways to distract the focus from you.So, which techniques can help you get out of your head so that you can actually relax and enjoy your date?First, wear a distracting clothing item or accessory.

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