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– An errant hand around your shoulder or a side of a face: What kind of person crops their best buddy out of a picture? Con: So we’re at the point now where everybody does it, right? Our entire lives are spent with our nose in a screen, and 90% of us at least have a dormant Friendster profile. Con: Do you have time to deal with that one guy that you went out with that one time, and is now phone/email/Twitter/Facebook stalking you?

Spending an entire Sunday hungover, in sweats, on the couch, eating Mexican/Chinese/Italian, talking to your girlfriends about what happened last night and scrolling through dating profiles. No matter how good your profile is, your picture is eleventythousand more times important. This is what they’re saying inside when they look at your picture: – If taken in the bathroom mirror: is the line for on-line dating. – ECU of a single feature: You’re hiding something. Stare until his image is burned into your brain, and feel free to imagine if he’ll go well with that sundress you just bought, and in your passenger seat, and with your faces squished together in a photo booth. Pro: Great alternative for those who don’t have time to go out every night in the hopes of “meeting someone” (blech).

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– An avatar, album cover, or picture of something that’s not at all you: Don’t get all “don’t judge me for my looks” on me. And he’s more initially attractive than you’d think.

The kind of person that crops love out of their life after the third date, that’s who. So why are we still making up “how we met” stories and laughing awkwardly/adding the “actually” modifier to “they met online”? Pro: Just when you’re scraping the bottom of a Ben & Jerry’s pint and complaining to your cat about how you’re sooo bored and you’ve met everyone worth knowing in this dumb city a million times over, and you’re gonna start looking for a place in [city college BFF lives in] tomorrow… Because he exists, in every single city, on every single site.

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